Wasp In The Helmet

This threads got a bit silly now hasn't it.

 

I had a wasp in my helmet years ago...it proceeded to crawl down my neck and down my back and sting me about 10 times. Bastard.

Worse than that...I was looking for a road sign back in the 80’s in the pitch dark at night...visor open...BANG, flutter, flutter...got hit by a bat slap bang over my eyes!
I believe it was a pipistrelle.

 

A seagull tried getting in my jacket once at 110mph, fractured my Humerus which I didn't find very funny but at least it wasn't a wasp, they are c*nts

 

Trees. Trees are really bad.

 

Especially those that hide behind bushes and jump out at you.

 

So it was a wasp then, not a goat?

 

I thought this was gonna be a new UB40 song....

 

There's a wasp in mi kitchen what I a gunna do ?

 

I once hit a medium size island from the South Pacific just outside Blandford, that left a mark!

 

And these F'ckers... they don't move you know!!!

 

My wife once had a lizard jump down her cleavage, while on the back of my motorbike (holiday in thailand).... at the roadside she ripped her top and bra off.
A family cycling past stopped and helped. Much to the delight of the old man and his teenage son, his wife and daughter didn't look impressed with their chivalry

No lizard was hurt, although he did look a little put out.

 

Shoot it.

 

Stationary leaves eh, the very worst kind of non moving leaf.

 

They must be the ones that fuck up the train lines... bastard stationary leaves

 

Yeah yeah, lizard down my bra honest, you sure she didn't just want to get her wakkas out, felt a bit teenager so went for it and just at that moment some locals turned up?

 

It's like you were there?

 

Well, there is a story to that. My name is poon tang and I live in Thailand and one day I was travelling down a local road with my son, wife and daughter when ......

 

In Catalonia I had this fly into my face exiting a village, turned sideways to try and expel it and shut my visor to only have it crawl around in my peripheral vision a few miles down the road. Only appreciated what it was when I pulled over and took my lid off. It flew away apparently unharmed a few moments later.

 

^ a lucky escape, a similar incident while a (car) passenger resulted in me denting a car dashboard with my head, the driver had frozen with fear as the furry creature crawled out of his hair and across his face causing us to run up the back of a Ford Zephyr. It could be seen as apt that it was in your helmet as although many know this as a Maybug I just learnt that many know it as a cockchafer.