Cor blimey, guv’nor, would you Adam and Eve it! Is it just me or are taxi prices getting cheaper? The cable car’s shut? How the hell am I meant to get to work now? You know what they should turn this into? Some luxury flats. With so many restaurants to choose from in Soho, I’m sure we won’t have a problem getting a table. Oooh, take a look at that beautiful pigeon. So we need to take the light blue line, then the red line… Amazing – I genuinely thought that guy was a real statue! London’s museums are great, but the entry fees are a bit steep. I love Canary Wharf. It’s just got that vibe, you know? Boris is alright, but lets face it, he’s no George Osborne. Yes, person with clipboard and overly sincere grin, I actually have several minutes to talk with you about the crisis facing Polynesian iguanas! It’s a free country and as far as I’m concerned people can stand wherever they want on escalators. Well, we meant to go to Wetherspoons, but it was so busy we ended up at this cool new bar round the corner. That’s it – I’m moving to Manchester. I’ve got literally no opinion on this weather. I’m just off to the Harrods food court to do the weekly shop. Isn’t it depressing how no-one ever talks to you on public transport? Damn these non-bending buses! You’re quite right Mr Cyclist – that red light doesn’t apply to you, on you go. I wasn’t using that leg anyway. I’m only staying for one, I’ve got to drive home after this. I’ve checked the map – the quickest way is just to walk through the Blackwall Tunnel. The best thing about this area is all the people like me that have moved here. The more people that move to my area, the cooler it gets. Quick! Get a photo of me in this red phone box! Funny story: the house was so cheap, we actually bought two. Best wait for the lights to change before we cross. That cabbie had no idea where he was going, but at least his political opinions were well-informed and rationally delivered. There’s nothing more relaxing than a meandering stroll down Oxford Street. Amazing news, you guys, this weekend, BUSES REPLACE TRAINS!
