Move to joke thread if you want ET. I'm at the pub and a little worse for wear. I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic". "Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older And a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have." She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge". "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, grey-haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!" So I told her to fuck off.
If I wanted to read re-hashed old stories from tired and emotional hacks, I could just buy the Daily Mail.
You get the prize for the oldest cliche in the book! Well done. Must make you feel great to be so original. It was a joke FFS. Sent to me by a Guardian-reading leftie as it happens. I effing despair sometimes. Sense if humour by pass? Absolutely everyone else, including several women, have guffawed with laughter when I've told it to them.
sorry mate,, don't wish to kick a gutter press hero when he is down, but I think I spotted a few spelling errors in there ,,, perhaps some of your your female friends are easier to humour !!
That could have been a joke too - they were both funny, I've scored you equally after adjusting my agree when I thought it was a true story :smile:
Just forwarded the joke from the pub what is it with you guys? (I think!) Humour? Wrong word. Even I'm my inebriated state I can see that you meant please. Wind your neck in pal.
It's going to be fun when you sober up and realise that Pete was merely having a pop at the Daily Flail <cue Pete telling me I'm wrong >
That was obvious even to a pissed person. It's just that everyone has a pop at the Daily Mail - except its millions of readers. Must be doing something right! Bored with shooting fish in a barrel. Can't we find another target for our righteous ire?
