“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap” - Dolly Parton “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted” - Mae West “My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain” - WH Auden “I can resist everything, except temptation” - Oscar Wilde “Better to be looked over than overlooked” - Mae West “There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don’t” - Robert Benchley “If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself” – Albert Einstein “Faith: not wanting to know what is true” - Friedrich Nietzsche “Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung” - Voltaire “Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research” - Wilson Mizner “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo” - HG Wells “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it” - Groucho Marx “Every love’s the love before in a duller dress” - Dorothy Parker “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography” - Ambrose Bierce “If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth “Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length” - Robert Frost “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance” - Derek Bok “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think” - Dorothy Parker “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about” - Oscar Wilde “When someone shows you who they are believe them - the first time” - Maya Angelou “When you’re going through hell, keep going” - Winston Churchill “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off” - Coco Chanel “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple” - Dr Seuss “At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; at 45 they are caves in which we hide” - F Scott Fitzgerald “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” - Oscar Wilde “It is never too late to be what you might have been” - George Eliot “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt “If everything is under control, you are going too slow” - Mario Andretti “Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life” - Lawrence Kasdan “He that uses many words for explaining any subject, doth, like the cuttlefish, hide himself for the most part in his own ink” - John Ray “The aphorism is a personal observation inflated into a universal truth, a private posing as a general” - Stefan Kanfer What's your favourite?
I'll be back.. Arnie I had to let him go... Arnie come with me if you want to live...Arnie you shouldn't drink and bake...Arnie I eat been berates for breakfast.. Arnie Quickly, get to the chooopper.. Arnie you now when I said Id kill you last? I lied...Arnie
the frame looked like it hade been painted by hand with a brush... By someone with no brush... or hands (Chizel 7-2-17) :Hilarious:
Talking about golf and the commentator asked Sammy Davis Jr what his handicap was. To which he replied " My handicap? I'm a one-eyed black Jew! That's my handicap!
"An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away" - P. G. Wodehouse. "It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine" - P. G. Wodehouse. "I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it" - Mark Twain. "The rain falls upon the just And upon the unjust fellas But mostly it falls upon the just Because the unjust have the just's umbrellas" - Cormac McCarty. "There is no such joy in the tavern as upon the road thereto" - Cormac McCarthy. "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so" - Shakespeare "Having sex s like bridge: if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand" - Woody Allen.
Lady Astor: “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Winston Churchill: “Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it.” (when accused on being two faced by the opponent) Abraham Lincoln: “If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?” A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -Moses Hadas "His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open." -Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable) "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -Paul Keating "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -Jack E. Leonard "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -Abraham Lincoln "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -Robert Redford "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -Thomas Brackett Reed "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." -James Reston (about Richard Nixon) "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain "A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity." -Mark Twain "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -Mae West "She is a peacock in everything but beauty." -Oscar Wilde "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
