The Return Of The "motorbike Motorbike"

Do you remember, back in the 80s before the launch of the first GSXR 750, motorbikes were pretty much motorbikes. They weren't retro, or sports, or tourers or adventure or naked. They were just bikes. They didn't have fairings - you bought a Rickman barn door for that - or tiny seats that went up your bum.

They had large comfy seats. Of course, they also had lousy handling, shite tyres, dodgy brakes and crappy reliability. Most of them were made of cheese, which you found out whenever you tried to undo a bolt. Let's not try to pretend it was a motorcycling golden era (that was the 90s).

But a bike was a bike. Well, I visited the Swiss bike show in Zurich at the weekend and I noticed a strong return to the "motorbike motorbike". They may be "retro" but really, they are just bikes with comfy seats, no fairings and modest horsepower. But now they have proper tyres and suspension and probably won't break down much.

Triumph have got loads of the things : Speed Twins, Thruxtons, Bonnevilles and the like. You can even get a Royal Enfield motorbike motorbike, not to mention offerings from all the Nipponese manufacturers and just about everyone else. Ducati aren't really participating, except with the Scrambler range which I suppose is just a bearded hipster motorbike motorbike.

It all makes perfect sense. Bikers are getting old and quite like revisiting their youth. The roads are clogged with cars and you can't make any progress and when you do, you are zapped by an anti-speeding robot. They are there in every village in any case, telling you to SLOW DOWN! So you might as well be pootling about, comfortably.

I dunno. I feel quite tempted. But part of me (most of me) still wants to see if I can't get my knee down on a well-surfaced corner. Will the motorbike motorbike really cut it? Am I still too young (a little under 60, but not that under...)?

 

I sat on the Husky at the show. It’s about as comfortable as it looks. You might have fun on it for 50 miles, but you might not.

 

Don’t get me wrong: the bikes now are better than ever - stupendous. But the road conditions in which you can use them are way inferior to what they were. The 90s saw bikes that were already hugely capable but you could ride them about fairly unmolested and the open road was still open. That for me was the decade when you got the best mix of machinery and road conditions. But someone will no doubt tell me it was the 60s and it really is all to do with age. Could be.

 

The Z900 looks pretty good but can’t see myself turning Japanese after all these Euro years. And there is plenty of Euro stuff to choose from in this area.

 

In fact, I am getting sorely tempted by this:

 

OK!

 

I know just what you mean and I think I won't ever be without a sportsbike. But there are times when something a little more laid back is just the ticket, when you don't really want to be "on it" and some of the basic bikes look very cool. I've had some short spins on them and they are great fun, in a different sort of way.

I was looking at the Diavel again at the Bike Show. I've ridden the thing and found it very impressive, but lookswise... nah. It really is hideous. I couldn't possibly really ever own one.

Sportsbikes are the business, but you have to be able to ride sport. Sitting in slow moving traffic or hitting an endless stream of 30 mph zones really ruins your fun and then you realise that something a little less focused might be the ticket.

I remember doing a track weekend on my 916. At one point, I had to leave the circuit and go and fill up at a service station a couple of miles down the road. Suddenly, the thing seemed utterly ridiculous. Suddenly, I was changing up at 4000 rpm or so and the entire bike just seemed ludicrous for the road. It wasn't what it was designed for. And things have only got more so.