that your brain won't let you forget. Let's see them. I'll start. I once went into a petrol station to buy some fuel for my Zippo lighter. I asked, "Do you have any petrol fluid, please?" Playing some futuristic sports video game with a mate for the first time, I noticed the clock showed '1st quarter'. I asked him, "I take it there are four quarters?" Smoking cigs with some mates, I asked "Oh, yeah, cigar-ettes? Is that why they're called that? 'Cos they're like small cigars."
Went into a Chinese takeaway after the end of a serious evening booze sesh with my my mate, Jon. Ordered a bag of chips and a bamboo cake. Guy behind the counter looks blankly at me. "Bamboo cake. You know, bamboo cakes. I get one here every Friday night. Bamboo cake!". I look to Jon for help, Jon looks at me blank-eyed and shrugging. This makes me even crosser and I'm just about to start shouting ... and I twigged. "Sorry. Bag of chips and a pancake roll please."
When I was an apprentice I was doing a clutch on a Nissan 300zx , I was holding the old clutch in my hands then for some stupid reason asked my boss is this an automatic car?? not that funny but just a stupid thing to ask.
Not a nice one - but while diving my mates car not far from where I live now a dog ran out in to the road only one farm house in the vicinity, I wasn’t driving fast but the dog ran straight at me. I was a little shaken up ( I was about 19 at the time ) Knocked on the door of the farm, when the lady answered I asked if she used to own a Jack Russell - still feel bad about it 30+ years later
"Let's buy that house" "Let's but some more land from the farmer" "Let's get a dog, he can run around in the grass" "I'm going to mow the long grass" "Did you pick up all the dog crap?" "Can you wash my trousers and boots, please?" "What time's dinner?" "Have I annoyed you?"
In a laminate floor shop while Mrs is looking at stuff for £30 sqm "don't forget there's underlay on top of that!"
A couple of gems from workmates "I like to walk round the house in a comfy pair of flippers" "Is war of the worlds based on a true story?" "a litre of coke cost me 3 litres and 50 cents"
I once for a giggle told an ex that one of the ingredients in whitening toothpaste was man milk under it's chemical name
