You know you are getting old when....

I ain't milking no almonds, cows are hard enough.

 

You have had a persistant eye irritation for a couple of weeks and then your wife reaches over and yanks some overlength and undercurled eyebrow hairs out!

 

When you walk into a room, stand at the door way and have completely forgotten why you went there.

 

In that case, I was old before my time!

 

you know your getting old when you have more hair stuck in yer eyes than you do on yer heed.

 

When the part of your body that sticks out at the front is your guts!

 

you are walking around(permanently) looking for your fucking reading glasses that you put down turn around and they have gone into the black hole that seems to follow you around,(that has a huge collection of mainly screwdrivers and 10mm spanners!!)

 

Or get one of those stupid chain things that i as a MAN refuse to get.

 

Agree. SWMBO keeps suggesting I get one, I keep telling her I refuse to look like an old lady in a nursing home ffs.

 

When you slow down before the speed limit sign instead of after !

 

Does this same advice run for 10mm spanners and sockets?

 

You know you're old when you're looking at women in nursing homes

 

You frequent a motorcycle forum talking drivel instead of getting out and riding your bike.

 

Putting on the socks in mornings.

 

You can't get off the couch without groaning. And can't even contemplate a Bean Bag.

 

When you football stadium quality lighting to read the cooking time of something even with your readers

 

When there is more hair coming out your nose than on your head

 

That's right!
When you still have the same amount of hair, it's just growing in different places now!

 

When you convince yourself you have Glaucoma but upon inspection, you haven't cleaned your glasses for a few weeks. Dad taught me that one.