^ most of those instructions are pretty good, have to say. Dylan Thomas/Wordsworth could have learnt a thing or two from instruction 5.
I worked in China a lot back in the 1990s. They were just getting into westerner style Bars, but with Karaoke. I guess they got some Gweilo to list the songs in English. Hence one song became ...... Elvis Presley - You were always on my minge