Reuters Bologna, 22nd August 2016 In a shock announcement today, Ducati, the Bologna based maker of premium sports - orientated motorcycles announced swingeing cuts to its workforce at the Borgo Panigale manufacturing facility following in depth analysis of feedback from forums and other customer interfaces "We have been listening to our customers and are making the difficult decision to rationalise key sections of the workforce" said Hermann von Scheissenhausen, head of community outreach. "The changes will be focused in three key areas" he announced. "Firstly, we will eliminate the work of the team who place the little blue stickers on the clutch housing advising users which oil to use" "Research shows that nobody ever read them anyway, and we have been wasting our time for twenty years" said Herr Scheissenhausen "Secondly, we are cancelling our contract with our long standing supplier of clutch and brake reservoir caps, you know, the ones saying 《Use only DOT4 fluid》" he advised. "Nobody seems to have read those either, and for sure we can save 3 grammes of valuable alloy per unit, thus preserving the world's precious resources" advised head of global sustainability Manfred von Schwarzcap And finally, VP of consumer liaison Luigi di Stupido revealed that 30 more jobs will be eliminated in the department which places owners manuals in Multistradas. "My heart aches with emotion when I consider the time and energy we have expended producing these beautifully hand crafted artisanal documents" he revealed, "but we must move with the times and face facts -- our consumers just cannot be, how you say, arsed. It's easier to ask strangers on the Internet than read a booklet with all the answers" he said, tears forming in his smouldering dark brown eyes. But in a surprise closing statement, it was also revealed that the oil level sight glass fitted to many models will be discontinued from the end of 2016, to be replaced by a 4 axis gyroscopic level transducer which incorporates a digital read out in a head up display. It's what our consumers want said a spokesperson, after all, some live on hills and other non - level terrain, and a sight glass is, how you say, very old tech END
First reaction was WTF, but nearly pissed myself at the last 2 paragraphs :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy: