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Brings My Pathetic Troubles Into Sharp Relief

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Symon Moore, Aug 6, 2019.

  1. Not sure why I’m posting this, just want to get it off my chest really.

    I try to be an upbeat person, try to be kind (most of the time) & even where I differ politically, culturally or any other way, I think that I try to do the right thing. But it doesn’t stop me bitchin’ about my lot sometimes or feeling irritated at the most pointless of things & then life chucks you one of these people:

    Met a guy today who’d been forced to sell a large part of the equity in his property to pay his wife’s care costs, the company he sold to clearly ripped him off, then went bust & his new company wanted a property inspection. Enter me.

    He stops me at the door & asked if I would be OK with his wife smoking as she has terminal cancer & dementia & would not understand if I objected. Of course I didn’t.

    He also has a large hole in the middle of his head, literally a hole, where his cancerous tumor was removed last year. The flat is pokey, untidy & dark (to keep costs down) & he constantly apologises for this, clearly embarrassed that I had to step around & over things to do my job. I reassure him that it’s not a problem at all but he will not stop apologising. There’s almost no food in the cupboards.

    His wife keeps asking who I am & what I’m doing there, the husband keeps repeating the same assurances. I am already struggling with the enormity of his dilemma.

    He follows me around, talking to me constantly, from the state of his kitchen worktop (which wasn’t that bad) to yesterday’s cricket collapse to how he’s hoping his son visits soon. Clearly he wants to talk. He offers me a cuppa, which in a quick job like this I’d always refuse but I don’t this time,

    I find myself showing him some pictures of my family (on the iPad I’m using) & he spots my Ducati. He used to ride an Enfield back in the day & tells me of how he met his wife in 1955 at a forces de-mob dance.

    I finish up the tea & the job. Walk back into the lounge to say goodbye & he escorts me to the door.

    I kid you not, he had tears in his eyes when he shook my hand, thanked me for just chatting & said that it was a huge relief to just be able to talk to someone. I made my excuses & left because I was welling up too.

    WTAF? Promise to hug the kids more, treat the missus & spend more time thanking my lucky stars instead of whining about nothing. That was truly heart wrenching.
     
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  2. There's always somebody worse off than you through no fault of their own, the couple you met should be looked after not left to fend for themselves - another subject, but that really pisses me off.

    Welling up now ;)
     
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  3. We’re conditioned into doing things as fast as possible to ‘save time’, ‘time is money’ etc etc. It’s nice to stop and realise there’s more important things in life. Well done you for brightening someone’s life up, if only briefly :upyeah:
     
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  4. That is sad :(

    I'm gonna give my mum a call now make sure she's ok...
    Thanks for the reminder.
     
    #4 Sonic, Aug 6, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2019
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  5. Local food banks are surging due to this tory governments polices. People all over the country are struggling & the elite don't give a fuck. Because they have gated off their own services & leasuire facilities so they don't witness the plight of the poor.

    I find it disgusting that the uk allows tax havens & trust funds & will never vote torie. We need to get rid of Trident nuclear missiles & focus on showing what a country can do without nukes.

    Can you post a note to him about a local food bank?
     
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  6. I think it's good sometimes to see what other people are going through to bring some perspective. There are some poor souls out there. I remember working on a set of flats and asked to use a guys toilet who had some physical disabilities after being beaten up. I went in through the front door and his bed was in the living room next to a TV which was sat on the floor. There was no other furniture in the house. He was waiting for a cheque from the DSS at the time. He had no-one.

    I'm generally pretty upbeat about my lot in life and try to have some realism about what makes people happy. It's not money, but it helps. As long as the kids are happy and healthy and never have to worry about whether they'll have food, or clothes (or Wifi!) anything beyond that is a bonus.
     
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  7. Recently on a reality show where they follow emergency personnel to emergency calls, they profiled an ambulance technician who has a phenomenal bedside manner. At the end of the profile she summed up why she chose the profession and ended by saying "I want to be the best part of my patient's worst day." Profound to say the least. Speaks volumes as to the kind of person she chooses to be.
    Symon, thank you for being that kind of person and making a difference.
     
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  8. Thank you for your kind words Faith, but I don’t think I did anything really apart from just talk to this guy for 20 minutes or so. It’s affected me far more than I thought it would though and I hope it made even a small difference to both of us.
     
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  9. Could be worse. A lot worse. Homeless wheelchair users in the winter snows ...

    Homeless wheelchair in the snow.jpg
     
  10. Its reassuring you do a worthwhile job in helping people in such distress.

    I hope the company who you are employed or subbed by, treat the home they now largely own, to good maintenance and upgrade to a higher level of living standard.

    I hope they can live at home, without the fear of the rest of their share will not be forcefully bought from them.

    I do hope your inspection will show a compassionate report, rather than one full of problems and expenditure for the new majority owner.
     
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  11. You never need to look far in order to find people battling with things you couldn't even contemplate, on some of my worst days with Multiple sclerosis I always have a thought for those who are worse off and the ones who just aren't around anymore too fight illnesses.
     
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  12. Life is luck. I used to think it was about working hard, but it’s not, it’s all luck.

    It’s luck whether you have a work ethic or not
     
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  13. Be proud, for giving is so much better than taking and it’s also great for your own self esteem. Give a little time to someone new, as often as you can, hopefully, everyday, for one day, we, might just need it ourselves.. x
     
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  14. You made a difference. Well done.
     
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  15. And do you know what, the best thing you can give someone going through sickness is your time
    It means soooooo very much when you have hit rock bottom
     
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  16. To just be compassionate and caring would have made such a big difference to them
    Don’t underestimate what you did
     
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  17. Not sure why you posted this either, not sure why I am reading it but I am pleased that you, and I, did!
     
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  18. Simon,
    Dispensing someone the attention as you did can even save a life. Sometimes can even save both sides in different ways. Many would turn down the opportunity that been given to you of a quick exchange of experiences. You grabbed it. And you did well. Well done! Good for them to have you, good for you to have them.
     
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  19. I believe luck is made. Right place right time is usually an articulated mind going somewhere unknown.
     
  20. So bad luck is an unarticulated mind going somewhere known then ?

    Well done @Symon Moore for showing some compassion.
     
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