Just thought I'd lighten the mood with a few funny holiday stories. .. please add yours. I once asked Police man the time in New York, hearing my Brit accent answered with "what the f#$@ do I look like, Big Ben".... For her Birthday I took my Grandma to the USA in 1996, it was a fly drive Las Vegas to San Francisco, girlfriend, nan and me. They argued the whole time, it was a nightmare. Trying to get back across Yoesemite park I arrived at a mountain pass gate that was being locked by a ranger. I asked what time it would be opened, as I needed to get to SA. He looked at his watch and said "around May".... it was November 5th!..... it was a long drive around them mountains.
This is a bit of a story but, bear with me....this happened, it could almost have been a scene in a comedy.... A good few years back we went to Sharm-El-Sheik...whole family (well, my wifes family and her mums family) theyre Welsh - where one goes the rest follow - probably a sheep thing... Anyway previoius to all of this both of us got our Padi open water Divers qualification (the theory was, if we were qualified) where ever we went we could go diving if we wanted to...if anything every time we went it always ended badly...hence this story... So, we find a local dive place and book a dive. We got there and at that point we told them we hadnt been diving for a few years and would like to "buddy up" with a more experienced member of their dive group... While we were setting up our kit at that point alarm bells should have started ringing but being the British people that we are you kind of politely dismiss it in your head. One thing my original dive teacher/person whatever, told me was, "if you dont get the first stage on square, then take it off - itll never go on.." I was watching the dive leader trying to man handle the first stage on (the bit that bolts to the top of the tank) with a fag hanging out of his mouth.....it then blew, blowing the fag straight up in the air out of his mouth... I then started to test my octopus, (the bit you put in your mouth) which didnt work and then the second reserve which did. (this is why you do an equipment check!) - i held my hand up (like in school) and said "excuse me, err my main doesnt work correctly..." to which he replied in a thick middle eastern accent... "and that sir, is why you have a spare!" - so i kinda acknowledged it in polite way and carried on... Then at Sharm-El-Sheik they had these plastic floating jetty's which while we were carrying all of our kit got really hot really fast, at the point our feet registered that the dive leader ran past us full tilt with all of his stuff and chucked it ahead of himself into the water and then dived in after it, leaving me to check my wifes kit before went went in. Sitting on the side i did a final check on her kit and they (and i cant believe im saying this) actually turned her air off...yep - really... So, we got in, and i found that my working second stage didnt work properly so for the entire dive i was spitting out sea water. The divers (part of the dive team) that we were supposed to buddy up with literally fucked off straight away...i thought my wife was with one of them and she the same with me....i looked round at her (she was looking at me, drifting away from me) towards one of the underwater landmarks at that dive location...a massive fan shaped coral that stuck out about 6 feet or so...i managed to grab her fin just before she drifted into it... Anyway...we finished the dive, dropped all our stuff back...and literally walked off without paying...never went back... 2 years later it didnt go much better in Florida, 2 years after that in the Bahama's we took one look at the "tuition" on offer and didnt even bother not been diving since...
You've been unlucky..... I love diving, perhaps more thn motorcycling, it's awesome. Get back into it.... give it a third go.
Im not joking when i say its never gone well....scar on my knee from the Florida dive....the only dive i ever enjoyed was the one i did right after qualifying in the Maldives....that was it... And i might say, nothing short of incredible...like something out of the blue planet....
Gambia...circa 1992 Went to see Charlie the tame Crocodile. Went down 8-10' into a round concrete lille covered water well, say 30-40' across. At the edge around 3' of the area is dry and loads of croc's laying in the sun. Loads of tourists waiting to squat down and have their photo taken. The guide is making Charlie open his mouth for a good photo... I'm at the back of the queue and decide to walk over to a large Croc about 20' away. He's asleep so I bend down and tap him on the head. The Croc made a hiss followed by a gutteral sound that has served as an immanent death warning for 400 milion years. This in turn alerted the guide and his funkies to shout "only Charlie tame crocodile"..... That night the whole resort was telling increasing wild stories of the "fat bloke that climbed up a shear wall to escape being eaten by a 20' dinosaur"... The truth is I left the pond in a calm and expeditious (vertical) manner and the Croc never moved an inch..... his voice told me all I needed to know.
My mate Barry was fighting a huge octopus for a crayfish in a cave 40' down(he was getting complacent) and the octopus took exception and latched on, Alien style, to his reg and mask before he realised what was happening. He panicked a bit and pulled away and managed to get the whole plot back under control but he has a lot more respect for octopussies now!
On a serious note as she has gone now, I have done some amazing PADI dives. I grew up in the Channel Islands, drift diving for scallops and have worked all over the world and there was a time when I would take my regs on any business trip and grab a couple of days underwater. The best one ever was Lima Rock in the straits of Hormuz off Oman with just a RIB, beach shorts and a couple of buddies. Hammerheads, Rays and an underwater cave called the cathedral. No funny stories and I plan to teach madam one of these days. Life gets in the way though huh!
This is a story that often gets remembered in our family. 1977, I think. We were in Malta youngest daughter 18months, oldest 3 years old. We borrowed a car from a friend to go out for the day, after an hour of so the Triumph Herald broke down. So 4 adults (mother and stepfather) with two children stuck in the middle of the countryside. As mobile phones were still not even in science fiction films myself and Jim started to walk. Found a village and someone who would take us all back to town. Return to the car, pick up the others and a about a mile down the road started to laugh about the day and say, oh the children will remember this, then horror, shock, scream, we only had one child Turned around raced back, there was our car on the side of the road with our youngest daughter asleep in a child seat in the back. She never lets us forget and even now at 44 often threatens to call “child line”
I wouldn't care if Jesus Christ himself assured me the crocodile with its mouth wide open was tame. I'd be like..."F O O K - O F F" if anybody tried to get me within 20ft of it.
New notices... Looks like they improved it in the last 25 years...and added more "tame" crocs https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attra...lly_Crocodile_Pool-Bakau_Banjul_Division.html
