Ask them if they can hold on a minute whilst you turn a saucepan off, put the phone down but not off, then check 30 minutes later to see if they are still waiting.
Tell them your wife/husband/partner deals with that sort of thing and you'll just go and get them. Put the phone down and see how long they hang on. Optionally you can then loudly plot a murder or similar with a non existent friend on another line, or ask a non existent secretary to put a trace on the call so you can send the squad round. Nasher
I go along with them, when they ask you to go to "my computer" I ask how because I cannot see their computer. They carry on to the end and tell me to open a file that ends in .exe, at that point I tell them that it won't work on my system because I only have Linux. That is normally the end of that call. If you don't have time to play then just ask if their mother was sha££ing a pig before they were born, that seems to upset them for some reason.
I normally tell them that our Windows have only recently been replaced and we are very happy with them.
I like the idea of the whistle, have to say. I imagine these calls are from Mumbai, so probably Hindu. Do pig insults apply to Hindus as to Muslims? If not, what might?
Haven't had one for years but I do find it quite sad. They are very obviously calling from the Indian sub-continent and yet their name will be 'Mike', 'Tom', 'Dave', or something. Either they think that the called person is so stupid that they cannot tell that it is an international call or their bosses believe that we are an inherently racist country, so they have to pretend to be British. The good feeling about somebody calling out of the blue to 'save' my computer is spoilt by the assumption that I am a racist! The even sadder thing is that there are people - my Mother being one of them - who actually think that Microso$t would actually give a funk....
I was thinking of telling them that the householder has been murdered, the body has just been removed and as the investigating police officer, I need the caller’s details to add to the list of suspects. Sadly, I think the phone would be put down before I could get to the end though
I told one to 'F*ck off' He said 'What is F*ck off?' I said 'F*ck off and find out - try Google'. I have tried the policeman one where I am investigating internet scams - it works immediately. Anyway, I always work on the basis of how the hell does Microsoft know your phone number? (unless you are careless, of course).
I normally ask them to call back in ten minutes as I’m in the middle of F*cking their mother, tends to drive them mad.
Come to think of it, they usually give a name like Peter or Sarah, so I imagine just asking them to spell their surname as well would get rid of them pretty sharpish.
Yes, I imagine telling them that this call has been diverted to a police scam-call investigation unit might be quite effective.
I usually them I'm busy but that I will ring them back later. I then ask for their home number. One of these days I'll set up the old Virtual Machine trick and see how far I can take that.
you may joke, but i walked in to my fiends office, here in Germany, ( we get these calls in english as well) and his son was talking to them in broken english about to give them the passcode after already installing team viewer.... i pulled the phone out of his hands and pulled the ethernet cable from the wall... they got very aggressive on the phone and called ever 5 mins for about an hour... Dont underestimate the scam that they are running.. my default answer is i have a Mac..
Always ask them where are they calling from, usually London or Manchester if they haven't put the 'phone down, if they do answer then tell them M/S don't have a technical office there, works every time.
I find that asking them if they have recently had an accident that wasn’t their fault does the trick.
When my mate wants to get rid of cold callers he says in a really slimy voice...."so, what you wearin then..."
