Err ... I thought my dripping sarcasm at their hopelessness was pretty clear. Perhaps we need an "I'm being sarcastic" emoji.
Pricks like this always have someone who would take great satisfaction from potting them. Not even smart enough to spot a security camera...
Stolen van, stolen couch, stolen trolley, none of it is of any consequence, including the now stolen bike that they will get some small amount of drug money for. Hopefully before they get busted, which they will...