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Reports are coming in from farms around Merseyside that outlines of the Liverpool Manager's face are being spotted in wheat fields. The Echo...
There is a difference between having guts and having balls: Having guts is arriving home late after a night out with the lads, being met by your...
Had a text from the blonde who recently moved in next door: 'Any chance you can help to fix the awful condensation problem in my kitchen? Pop...
Just been watching the ladies weightlifting from the Olympics. Apparently the British girl has a lovely clean snatch...
My mate calls his new girlfriend 'The carpenter's dream': She's flat as a board and easy to screw....
How is it that a woman can argue for hours, yet 5 minutes into a blow job she will complain that her jaw aches??
Watched some donkeys playing football the other day. Wasn't much of a game, as they just kept hoofing it up the field. Nuno seemed quite happy...
One of the blokes down the pub is a magician, but he's lost his magic: Now we just call him Ian..
The Highways Agency have replaced the reflective studs with real diamonds in the cat's eyes on a road near us. It's now a jewel carriageway...
Just took my sock off and it's full of chocolate, biscuit and raisins: I think I may have a club foot...
The wife says she wants to eat something really exotic & wildly expensive on our wedding anniversary: She's having a giraffe...
My mate has just formed a band and they've called themselves Prevention. He reckons they're better than The Cure..
My mate's lad asked if I could help him with an essay for school about the occupation of Palestine. All I could say was that to the best of my...
Went to the shops yesterday & a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester..
A local restaurant is celebrating their re-opening by offering 3 courses of badger. Must be a sett menu...
People who eat Cadbury's chocolate are always optimistic. Because they are glass and a half full people....
Q. Why do women make such talented archeologists? A. Because they have always been good at digging up stuff from the past..
I used to have a girlfriend who was a bus conductor. After a session in the pub with the lads on a Friday night, I would always get on her bus &...
Got into a right mess trying to pull my jumper over my head after the buttons wouldn't undo. I'm now in A&E waiting to see a cardy-ologist...
Definition of a wise cannibal: The man who got married, and at the reception he toasted his mother in law.
