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Bono is said to be helping Ireland’s search for medical supplies: To be honest, he doesn’t have the greatest track record for being able to find...
My Diavel (2011 model 1198 engine) was on 15,000 miles or 5 years for belts. The Desmo valve check service is at 15,000 or 18,000 miles depending...
My mate reckons his wife is eating so much during the lockdown that she's starting to get a tan from the light in the fridge..
My mate reckons he and his wife tried S&M last night. Apparently she beat him, hands down..
The wife is getting fed up of only making shopping trips to Tesco. I’m planning a surprise for her when the restrictions are lifted: I’ll take...
After burning his arm on his barbecue, a Liverpool man has been told by doctors that they have limited treatment options. Apparently even skin...
I always liked Pussy Galore. Her shoes rarely got rained on: [ATTACH]
Fit a dark visor to your lid or Matt Halfcocked will have you fined for sunbathing!
My mate says Asda bin liners are useless: They always go straight in the bin after he buys them.
Meatloaf is reportedly marrying the lady who has been working as his accountant. Apparently she’ll do anything for love, but she won’t do VAT.
The Good News: I won the lottery! The Bad News: Since hardly anyone could buy tickets, it's only £12.
On a serious note I heard a Dr. on TV this morning saying in this time of Coronavirus staying at home is difficult but we should focus on inner...
All this stuff about keeping 2 metres apart is fecking stupid. I’ve just moved the electric meter away from the gas meter, and now the lights...
Next time you see an attractive girl on Instagram, remember: If you paint black and white stripes on a donkey, it might look like a zebra......
After 9 days of lockdown with the wife...… I have decided not to retire later this year after all..
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Prince Charles has had his latest test results back. He's still not Harry's dad.
They said gloves and a mask would be sufficient to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on..
Matt Hancock was told to find a guinea pig to test some new face masks on...…. [IMG]
My mate bought his wife a nurses uniform. There’s nothing kinky going on, she can now shop in the supermarket an hour earlier & be home in time...