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Q. How does the man in the moon cut his hair? A. Eclipse it.
An authoritarian walked into the pub last night & ordered everyone a round..
Katie Price has released a candle that smells of her vagina. Well I say 'released'. But it would be more accurate to say it just fell out...
Trump & Macron visited a boulangerie in Paris & Trump decided to show Macron how clever he was: With a wink, he grabbed 3 croissants whilst the...
Without hesitation, deviation or repetition I'll just say 'Rest In Peace'.
After almost 35 years of marriage, my mate now indulges in what can only be described as cross channel ferry sex: Roll on, roll off.
Q. What do you call an Amish man with his hand in a horse's mouth? A. A mechanic.
We rescued our Staffy (Monty) just over 3 years ago. He's 8 now & can have anxiety issues with some dogs, but he's bonded incredibly well with...
Q. What do you get when a zit bursts in a well known pharmacy shop? A. Puss in Boots.
Good for you! [MEDIA]
Chuck Norris is still as hard as nails: He went to a feminist rally at the weekend, and came home with his shirt ironed...
Q. What do Man Utd and a 3-pin plug have in common? A. Both are useless in Europe.
Q. How many motorcycle haters does it take to stop a moving bus? A. Never enough...
My mate’s fat blonde wife complained about the ‘triple chocolate gateaux’ in a posh French restaurant. When the waiter pointed out, “But Madame...
Fair play to Meghan Markle: Nobody has so successfully broken up a well-established British group since Yoko Ono..
My mate says he likes to surprise his deaf girlfriend. He reckons she never hears him coming...
The people I work with are weird, and have started naming food in the staff room fridge: Today I ate a falafel wrap named Wendy...
My mate said his knob is 8 inches, but it smells like a foot.
My mate said his wife trimmed her ‘lady garden’ today. He reckons her minge looks good, but his Flymo is now knackered...
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