Separate names with a comma.
My mate left 2 Notts County season tickets on the dashboard of his car yesterday. Someone smashed the side window and left 2 more....
Q. Why can’t you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford? A. Because all the mugs are on the field, and all the cups are at the Etihad Stadium.
My mate said he uses the ‘Liverpool position’ when having sex: He stays on top for ages, and then comes 2nd..
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2019 Champions League final. They are box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize...
My mate confused the words 'Yakuza' and 'Jacuzzi'. He's now in hot water with the Japanese Mafia...
Tried one, but it wasn't comfortable enough for me on bumpy roads. My problem, not the bike's. Might have been better with Skyhook suspension,...
Shame about the lack of use of your bike. Been there as a result of some long-standing sports-related injuries. I tried many bikes & managed to...
I find it easier to use my fingers on the buttons. But hey, each to his own! ;)
Chris Grayling has been rejected as a sperm bank donor: He’s well known as a useless wanker..
An elderly blind man said to his wife, "Are you wearing flip flops?" "No." She replied. "I'm not wearing my bra."
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road, and a dead mother-in-law in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the dog...
My mate said he didn't understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.
Our window cleaner also works as a spiritualist: He contacts the dead on a squeegee board..
My wife is a light eater: As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat..
[ATTACH]
Q. What's the difference between a battery and a mother-in-law? A. A battery has a positive side.
A transgender weightlifter has vowed to return after being stripped of 4 titles. She reckons she needs more work on her snatch..
Either: Buy her a large pair of gloves & tell her she's a keeper. Or: Give her a lump of coal & tell her it may turn into a diamond if she sits...
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a mosquito? A. The mosquito is only annoying during the summer..
Q. You are trapped in a room with a lion, a cobra and a government minister. You have a revolver with two bullets, what should you do? A....
