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[MEDIA]
Overheard two Essex girls talking on the bus: One told the other, “I took a pregnancy test today.” Her friend replied, “Were the questions hard?”
I'm just looking at the lay of the land. She hates it when I call her that..
Chelsea's player-manager did well in goal yesterday!
Newsflash: A man with a stutter died in prison today. He didn't even finish his sentence..
My mate's son asked him how he would define depression. My mate replied, "When you find a pube that's longer than your willy."
My mate has the largest collection of Oxo cubes I have ever seen. Apparently he was told to invest in stocks...
I went to a concert where a girl with big boobs streaked across the stage. She was thrown out by the bouncers..
Just because he didn’t buy her flowers or a card on Valentine’s Day, my mate told me his wife stated she will need to be wooed if he ever wants...
Men who have pierced ears are considered by women to be better prepared for marriage: They have experienced pain, and have bought jewellery...
Q. Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells? A. Because her boobs were too big for 'B' shells..
Quasimodo walks into Burtons and he says to the salesman, “Have you got a suit to fit me?” The salesman replies, “Well if we have someone is...
I got rid of the Diavel at the end of June. Had been having misfire issues for some months & having spent a considerable amount on the bike I had...
Q. What do you call a man with cat scratches all over his hands and face? A. Claude.
My mate says sneezing is a lot like having sex with his wife. He can't do either with his eyes open..
My mate knew a girl called Bill Who f*cked a grenade for a thrill They found her vagina in North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil
If the stork is the bird of birth. The swallow must be the bird of birth control...
I used to work in a laboratory, and I proved to them that animal testing doesn't work: The animals got all nervous and gave silly answers..
The owner of our local chippie asked me, "Would you like anything extra on your chips?" I replied, "Does it cost anything?" He answered, "Ten...
My mate claimed that slicing a potato and rubbing it on your windscreen would prevent frost on the screen on cold mornings. This morning he...