Separate names with a comma.
Q. What do you call a camel with 4 humps? A. A Saudi Quattro.
Albert Einstein was a genius. But his brother Frank was a monster..
My mate says his knob is like a semi-colon: He can't remember what it is for, and he never uses it anyway.
We realised my mate is definitely dyslexic. He turned up at a toga party this evening dressed as a goat.
Q. What did Denis Norden and Dale Winton have in common? A. Both enjoyed a good cock up.
My mate took a phone call informing him his mother in law had been admitted to intensive care after a bad fall. "Oh dear." He said, "Is she...
My mate started a micro-electronics manufacturing business recently. Things are going so well he's already looking for smaller premises.
My mate plays for a football team called 'The Musketeers'. They have started the season well with 3 wins and a draw: All 4-1 and one 4 all.
The wife said I really should see things from her point of view for a change. So I just took a look out of the kitchen window....
I like to play chess with bald men in the park. Although it's hard to find 32 of them.
My rich mate says he thinking of sacking his one-armed butler: He says he can take it, but he can't dish it out..
My mate has formed a band and they have called themselves ‘The Prevention’. They’re hoping people will say they are better than the cure.
A homeless guy in town asked me if I had 50p for a sandwich. I said, "Show me the sandwich first."
A recent study suggests women have cleaner minds than men. Probably because they keep changing them every 10 seconds or so.
Q. What does an Essex girl say after sex? A. Are you all in the same football team?
My mate and I started a business making figurines from classic horror films. He usually makes the models but we just had a huge order for 20,000...
My mate bought a 2nd hand blow-up doll. He says he prefers a woman with experience..
In a new series, Thomas The Tank Engine will travel abroad and meet foreign trains. Viewers in Britain are expected to appreciate the opportunity...
The boss asked me if I am a glass half full or a glass half empty person. I said, “Who cares? The glass contains the same amount either way.”
My mate told me he has made a will. He plans to leave his body to his iPhone, his iPad and his laptop. He wants to be left to his own devices.
