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Started a boat business in the loft. The sails are going through the roof.
My mate has just ditched his opera singer girlfriend. He said she was all mi mi mi mi mi.
That's very different. Never seen one of those used as a guide dog before!
My mate & his wife had triplet boys a few years ago, and they named them: Matt, Pat & Tat. My mate could never understand why Matt & Pat grew...
My mate has never been to church. He reckons religion is basically an argument about who has the best imaginary friend.
My mate said his wife was weeding the garden when a black boxer jumped her from behind & tried to have sex with her. "Did you report him to the...
The operators of the London Eye are trying to deal with a malfunction. Apparently it keeps going on the blink.
You are fairly close to Cornerspeed. You could contact Nelly at Cornerspeed, he is highly regarded by many: http://cornerspeed.co.uk/
Walking to work at the local hospital when a woman at the bus stop went into labour. The wife turned to me & said, "Well don't just stand there!"...
My mate posted an ad on a dating site, it read: 'Professional gent seeks companion for long walks in the country, stopping at pubs for a cool...
If I had to describe myself in 3 words, I would say: "Not very good at maths."
A mother takes her four year old daughter into the bank and the little girl goes up to the counter and says, "As I now have a job I would like to...
My mate has always enjoyed a cigarette after a good meal. Thanks to his wife's cooking, he's managed to quit smoking.
Theresa May has been out running in that wheat field again..... [ATTACH]
The wife always wanted to be married in a castle, so after popping the question I made her dream come true. You would have thought she could have...
My mate says the first thing he notices in a woman is her eyes. Then when her eyes aren't looking, he notices her tits.
My mate came home from work to find his wife scrubbing the kitchen floor. She had her back to him, she wore a short skirt, had her bum in the air...
The wife suggested a weekend away in a quiet hotel near the sea. I had a great time, but she hasn't spoken to me since. Apparently she wanted to...
Scientists who are claiming graphene to be the thinnest black material ever developed have obviously never bought Aldi value bin liners.
The Termis on my GT1000 were stainless steel. I think there may have also been black finished Termis for the SC1000.