Separate names with a comma.
My mate frowns upon pornography. But that's only because he's concentrating.
Went into Toys R Us and asked where the Schwarzenegger dolls were. The assistant replied, "Aisle B, back."
Saw him race on several occasions. Hugely talented, a sad loss.
A bottle has appeared in the bathroom & on the label it says: 'Proven to treat gingivitis'. Dunno what the wife was thinking of, none of us have...
After slow-cooking it carefully over a naked flame, I served a female deer with garden herbs at a family dinner. Although announcing it as...
"Why do you have lipstick on your shirt??" Yelled my wife. "Because I wiped my dick on it." Was probably not the best quick response I could...
I drank 2 bottles of Tippex last night. Woke up with a massive correction this morning.
My mate said his wife insists on having sex doggy style. It's just regular sex really, but he has to give her a treat afterwards.
I was fixing my mate's car & he asked me to put a spoiler on the back of it. So I sprayed on the boot: 'Bruce Willis is a ghost in The Sixth Sense'.
There's a great offer on eBay: If you buy a collection of sheet music by Adam and the Ants, they will throw in a free stand and deliver.
My mate walked into the pub last night with a massive black eye. "How did you get that?" I asked. He replied. "I was banging my neighbours wife...
A man was savagely attacked today at the Teddy Bear's picnic. His condition is said to be improving, but he's not out of the woods yet.
Last week: The government announced they were scrapping plans for rail electrification, but said they will introduce diesel hybrid trains....
Just seen on the news that Police are holding 3 men over a fire in Leicester. Seems harsh, I wonder what they did?
A politician is walking down the street when he's grabbed by a group of taxpayers and pulled into an alley. They give the politician a single...
Due out in bookshops next week: 'Excessive masturbating in Scandinavia' by Sorf Oreskinn.
My boss said, "There is no 'I' in team." So I replied, "Yes, but there are 5 in 'individual brilliance."
The wife told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
The wife asked, "What's the difference between ignorance & apathy?" I replied, "Don't know, don't care."
Apparently 15% of married women are taking medication for irrational mood swings & unpredictable behaviour. That means the other 85% must be...
