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Nestle have introduced a new dark, bubbly chocolate bar for Mexican funerals. It's a sombre Aero.
Q. What's the difference between Katie Price and a Cadbury's Crème Egg? A. It costs 40p to lick out a Crème Egg.
My mate is never ashamed of who he is. He says that's his parents' job.
The wife and I just watched 3 great DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.
My mate got an erection during a routine prostate examination earlier today. He tried to laugh it off, but to cut a long story short he no longer...
I was thinking of trying colonic irrigation, but I heard it takes it out of you.
Marriage: The process by which a man learns what a woman's ideal man is like, and just how far removed he is from that ideal.
My mate told me that when he was in his teens he fell in love with a one-armed pot holer. He still carries a torch for her.
The wife complained that I never buy her flowers. She never told me she sells them!
Q. What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws? A. Outlaws are wanted.
I think the wife is aiming for a dry January. She bought 6 cases of Sauvignon Blanc in the sales.
My mate reckons the great thing about being ginger is that at least he knows he wasn't adopted.
My mate said his girlfriend had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh just before Christmas. He reckons when he puts his ear to it he can...
Anagram of mother in law: Woman Hitler.
Mick Hucknall is to release two new songs about sex with rabbits: 'Holding back the ears', and 'Bunny's too tight to mention'.
I asked my mate what his pet hate is. He replied, "Well he doesn't like having things shoved up his arse."
Fair point. Could also be a good way of parking free of charge at hospitals, just park near the mortuary! (Same can also work with a large, dark...
Developing the private ambulance theme, this could also be a nice little earner on the side: Daimler Ds420 Hearse(XMAS SALE) | eBay [ATTACH]
The wife entered what she has eaten today into her new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to our house.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a...
