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A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man...
An old man went to church, and made a confession: Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been...
A local dignitary visited a retirement home & asked a 93-year old lady resident, "Have you been bed-ridden since you came here?" The old girl...
Predict your favourite film: [ATTACH]
Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at...
THREE TREES AND A WOODPECKER Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the...
My mate says his wife's attitude to sex reminds him of his bank account: Unlikely to show any interest for the foreseeable future.
This afternoon I was attacked by a group of circus performers. So I went straight for the juggler.
Q. What happens when you play a country & western song backwards? A. You get a new truck, a new wife and a new dog.
A married man's prayer: 'Dear God, You gave me childhood, you took it away. You gave me youth, you took it away. You gave me a wife. It’s been...
The wife asked "Shall I prepare curry or soup today?" I replied, "First make it, and we'll name it later."
My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. But when I turned up at the office today in...
Q. Why has a shark never attached a banker? A. Professional courtesy.
9 out of 10 voices in my wife's head tell her she is too fat. The last one tells her to have another plate of chips...
The wife says there's some kind of trailer on TV showing a boxer bouncing up & down with his tongue lolling out. Tyson Fury off his head on coke...
Could make a decent winter hack too. Looks like Royal Enfield may be bringing it to the UK: [ATTACH] [ATTACH] [ATTACH]
A woman told her doctor, "My husband is 300% impotent. The doctor asked her, "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" She...
A man asked for a tattoo of a £100 note on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asked him why he would possibly want that. He replied, "Three...
My mate said his dad was like a magician. I asked, "What do you mean, like a magician." He replied, "He used to disappear a lot when I was younger."
My mate often breaks into song because he can't find the key.
