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We ran out of toothpaste so I've been chewing one of the dog's toy bones. Now my mouth is squeaky clean...
Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-17...
A man has appeared in court charged with stealing luxury toilet rolls. He pleaded ‘not quilty’.
Wayne Rooney's sex life is about to take a downturn when the over-70s start self-isolating..
The clocks go forward next week: I'm putting mine forward by 12 months!
The wife said she had to buy evaporated milk in the supermarket today. When she arrived home the carton was empty...
I feel sorry for Phillip Schofield: Poor bugger has only just come out & now he’s being told he has to stay in!
First case of Covid-19 now confirmed in Russia: Ivor Chestikov says he feels ok..
Q. What has 4 legs, and keeps saying "Aaaah!" A. A sheep with no lips..
President Macron has declared France is at war with Coronavirus: His government has ordered 1,000 white flags...
The blonde secretary at work came back from the shops with 4 dozen sausage rolls, 3 dozen quiches & 3 dozen Scottish eggs. She thought everyone was...
Gatherings of more than 100 people may be banned in an attempt to restrict the spread of Covid-19. Fans of Gary Barlow will be pleased that this...
My mate said, "We've just stockpiled a load of luxury toilet tissue for the whole family to use.” I replied,"Andrex?" My mate then said, "No,...
Most of the country is stockpiling toilet rolls and cans of baked beans. My Scouse mate is licking door handles to try to get 2 weeks off work..
My mate said it was bad enough being dyslexic, but now he thinks he has the racoon virus too...
Nice to see International Women’s Day falling on a Sunday. Gives them a chance to celebrate and make a proper dinner later..
Q. Which Pope smelled the nicest? A. Pope Pourri.
The blonde secretary in our office became upset when she heard about Covid-19: She thought she'd missed the first 18 films....
A number of Sport Classics were adversely affected by E10 in the U.S. IIRC. Warped tanks & some became quite loose.
I was in the chemist and I said to the girl behind the counter, “What gets rid of coronavirus?” She replied, "Ammonia cleaner." I said, "Oh...
