Separate names with a comma.
I have to be honest, as a married man I have no idea who Alan Turing is. I also have no idea what a fifty pound note is either....
A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "Why do you always have to give me bad news?" He...
I thought I saw a spider explode. But it turned out to be a jihadi long legs...
The wife asked how I thought we should celebrate our wedding anniversary later this month. I suggested, "How about a minute's silence?" I don't...
Q. How does Bono make a bow & arrow? A. With or without yew.
My mate's business making hanging baskets has gone bust: Although he sold beautiful baskets decorated with pansies, lobelias and marigolds; sadly...
The wife said she wanted some Jimmy Choos for her birthday: None of the shops near us had any, so I got her some Fruitellas..
Not saying my mate is ugly, but his wife says he cured her nymphomania.
When I was young & single, elderly relatives used to poke me at family weddings & say, "You're next." So I started doing it to them at family...
I came out of Asda this morning and there was a woman crying her eyes out. She'd lost all her holiday money. I felt so sorry for her I gave her...
Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working I'm going to my mum's." I opened up the fridge. The light...
The John McCririck Funeral service will be from the house at 10/1. Followed by burial at his local graveyard at 5/2. Refreshments at the local...
Reports have emerged of a worker who drowned in a vat of fabric conditioner at the Unilever factory. A company spokesman was quoted as saying,...
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Gen 1 bike. Multiple relay failures & fuel pump faults. Unfortunately the costs mounted up & with the wedding of one of our daughters looming, I...
I hope a fix is found for your bikes. I loved my Diavel, but it became so unreliable it just had to go.
I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to sleep with me: I didn’t know if it was her or the beer talking.
Banks: A place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it..
A man went into his local chemist shop, he held up his index finger and thumb pinched together & asked the guy behind the counter, "Do you have...
Q. Where can you be guaranteed to find a sheep tick? A. Shepherd’s Bush.
