Separate names with a comma.
Taking part in a radio phone-in quiz, Paddy was asked to name 3 famous Poles. He replied, "North, South and Tad."
A man went into a small village Chemist and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman behind the counter said she was the pharmacist and that...
My mate got a Womble pepper grinder for Christmas, but he says it's rubbish: Everything is either underground or overground..
The man who invented human cloning has died. The mourners will probably be beside themselves at the funeral.
I always knew my cousin George was going to join the police when he grew up: When we used to play Subbuteo all he wanted to do was walk around...
He laid her on the table. So white clean and bare. His forehead wet with beads of sweat. He rubbed her here and there. He touched her neck and...
Most old tennis players are witches: Sue Barker is a witch. Martina Navratilova is a witch. Then there’s Goran. Even he’s a witch.
Had a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner....
Two prostitutes were talking on Christmas Eve: One said to the other, "What are you going to ask Santa for?" The other said, "25 quid, same as...
News flash: Santa arrested. He was checking his list, then he checked it twice to find out who was naughty or nice. At that point he fell foul...
The wife and I had our 10th anniversary last summer, and she kept telling me how romantic it would be if we had sex on a horse. I wasn't that...
My mate says that if his sex toy business doesn't pick up soon, he's going to have to pull the plug.
The sign in the pub said 'In case of fire - break glass'. Now my beer's gone everywhere, and there's still a fire...
A friend who lives in Shoreham told me his local West Sussex radio station played a song for the people who had their flights from Gatwick...
My mate said he got totally bladdered at his work Christmas party yesterday. He vaguely remembers shagging the fit new blonde secretary over the...
My mate always tries to go the extra mile for his customers. He's one of the most unpopular of our local taxi drivers...
What are these shops of which you speak? Would Cook or Granger the butler be familiar with the concept?
Q. Why was the snowman told off for looking through the carrots? A. He was picking his nose.
The wife has given me a copy of the Kama Sutra as an early Christmas present. That's going to put me in an awkward position...
My mate hasn't been able to find an advent calendar. He thinks their days may be numbered..
