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Q. How did Joseph & Mary know how heavy Jesus was when he was born? A. They had a weigh in a manger.
Katie Price is set to release a new food sauce. Coincidentally, both she and her product have been described as: 'lacks taste but goes with...
My mate said one of his work colleagues had half his large intestine removed. "Was he in a coma?" I asked. "No." He replied. "But he ended up...
Not a specific winter tyre, but Michelin do a Power Rain tyre. I think it fits the Hypermotard 1100 and the 821:...
People told the young Beethoven that he would never make a career in music because he was deaf. But he didn’t listen to them...
The wife said, "Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present."
We visited the Christmas markets in Strasbourg last week. Very glad we didn't go this week, and very sad to learn of yet another atrocity against...
My wife made a game pie last night. The top hat, the thimble & the boot from the Monopoly set were fecking hard to digest...
What is it with laptop speakers? Too quiet for music. Too loud for porn....
Police suspect a dyslexic terrorist has struck at a zoo today: He took six ostriches..
My mate said marriage was grand. But divorce was over 20 grand.
I've told the wife not to eat the chocolate coins on the Christmas tree this year. After the end of March they'll be worth more than real money..
My mate has started dating a girl who works at the zoo. He says she's really nice, and he thinks she's a keeper..
My mate always makes a really good entrance: He's a joiner..
When we were kids, our grandad often used to fetch a takeaway curry for us. Most of the other kids on our street said their curries usually came...
Q. What's invisible, but smells of sherry & mince pies? A. Santa farts.
Just seen the video clip of that dog saving a goal at a football match. They really should have taken the lead.
"What are you doing?" Asked my wife. “Putting plastic mice on the lawn to keep away elephants." There's no bloody elephants out there.” she...
What appears at the corner of the screeen when Sweden is playing Denmark spells SweDen. What doesn't appear spells DenMark.
My mate said his wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married him.
