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The wife and I decided to make our own sex tape. She was really pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part..
My mate's wife went to B&Q for a wall mirror. The guy in the mirror aisle asked, "Would you like a screw for that?" My mate's wife replied, "No,...
The office blonde just came back from the pet shop with some bird seed. She now wants to know how long they take to grow..
My mate has really bad sunburn after the weekend & went to see his doctor. The GP prescribed Viagra. Apparently it won't cure the sunburn, but...
Gentlemen. As the World Cup approaches, please think of your wives: Make sure the telly in the kitchen is working.
I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are I have a little Satnav, I've had it all...
The 21st Century is a strange place: Deleting history is now more important than making it..
Three men went to sign on the dole, and were asked, “Reason for leaving last job?” The first man said, “My boss caught me facing a woman, she...
Apparently Australian men have sex on average 3 or 4 times per week. British men have sex on average 3 or 4 times per month. Japanese man have...
My mate said his wife gave him an ultimatum: "It's me or the dog." So he shagged the dog.
My mate said he entered his dog in Crufts the other week. Probably why he didn't win...
A male egg and a female egg were in a pan of boiling water. The female egg said, "Hey, I have a crack!" The male egg replied, "That's feck all...
Yep, that's my French mate. He eats snails because he doesn't like fast food...
A French colleague doesn't believe that eggs can be round or oval. He's a member of the flat oeuf society..
I have a 2011 Diavel. It's a great bike that is a lot of fun & can also be ridden more sedately with good comfort. It handles surprisingly well....
Went into the local supermarket earlier & saw a man and a woman wrapped together in a barcode label. I asked them, "Are you two an item?"
The boss announced: “I’ve lost a wallet with 500 quid in it, if you find it I’m offering a 100 pound finder’s fee!” A voice in the background...
Written on a post-it note for the wife: If at first you don't succeed. Try doing it the way your husband told you.
Took the family to the zoo & one of the kids pointed to the massive willy on an elephant & asked, “What’s that?” The wife replied, “It’s...
A guy was taking a leak in the gents & standing next to an Eskimo. He just had to ask the Eskimo, "What are those marks all down your knob?" He...
