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My mate decided to get one of those mail order brides. He made the mistake of not being in to sign on delivery. He came home to find that the...
During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis...
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens...
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made...
Whilst visiting my Irish mate on the farm where he works, I noticed a tremendous number of flies buzzing around the horses & cows. "That's a lot...
A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. "Congratulations!" says the...
My mate told me that between the end of October & the beginning of May, he kisses his wife's ring piece every day. I asked him why he does that &...
A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the...
Used to be a car IAM member & Observer when I lived in Gloucestershire over 20 years ago. Was a well run group with lots of activities....
The mother in law brought religion into my life. Until I met her I didn't believe in hell.
An old man walks into the doctors reception area and asks to see a doctor. The Receptionist notes he doesn't have an appointment so asks him what...
For her 50th birthday, my wife said, "I’d love to be ten again." So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite...
An elderly man visits the doctor for a checkup. "Mr Smith, you’re in great shape," says the doctor afterward. "How do you do it?" "Well," says Mr...
From the service section of the Ducati Glasgow web site: New Model Servicing Plans - Ducati Servicing - Ducati Bikes Glasgow Compulsory:...
A week after my mate bought a bull, he complained to me, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.” “Take him to the vet,” I...
I asked my Granddad what sex is like at age 97. He said, "Like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never remembers her age.
I know why the wife sucks her stomach in when she stands on the bathroom scales. It's the only way she can see the numbers.
Definition of a lonely pyromaniac: Still looking for a perfect match.
There is a management committee at work. It's a group of people who keep minutes but waste hours.
