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My mate's wife demanded a new kitchen yesterday. He went out for a while & returned with a job application form for her to work at McDonald's....
Mourinho has promised Man Utd fans they will be in a major European competition next year. Even if he has to write the song himself.
Apparently they're not making shortbread any longer.
Nice post Pete.. My late father didn't speak much about his time as RAF aircrew during WWII, but he did appreciate being able to tune in to Vera...
Ipswich Town defender Steven Taylor believes youngsters should still clean boots. If our local store is anything to go by, they should still...
My mate said his girlfriend always wears a Wonderbra. When she takes it off, he wonders where her boobs have gone.
When I heard there is a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.
My mate said he enjoyed a crafty wank under the sheets this morning. Apparently he now has to find a new barber...
I was watching a programme about the moon landings with my mate and his family when his little lad said, "I wish I could be shot into space."...
+1 Definitely worth adjusting the rear preload for rider/passenger weight. Previous owner of my bike was a 'well-nourished lady' who was reputed...
You know you're getting old when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
You know you're getting old when you and your teeth don't sleep together anymore..
Q. What do you call 6 people over the age of 65 in a hot air balloon? A. Pensioners with altitude.
Thanks mate. That reminds me I have to take the car to the garage to have the airbags checked. :thumbsup::thumbsup:
I pointed out a news headline to my mate on our way back from a session at the pub: 'Two pedestrians killed in collision'. My mate slurred, "How...
The new guy at work reckons he can tighten nuts & bolts by just sitting on them. The rest of us think he torques out of his arse.
I read my wife's horoscope every morning. To find out what kind of day I'm going to have.
My mate sent his new blonde secretary to the corner shop for a pint of milk, and told her: "If they have eggs, get six." She returned with six...
A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, "We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets;...
My mate got home from work today to discover his wife had left him & she took his Bob Marley collection as well as the satellite dish. I asked...
