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Lidl have introduced a budget range of barbecue flavour crisps. They taste of bricks, charcoal & wire mesh...
My mate hired a Gary Glitter fancy dress costume so I asked him what it was like. He said, "It's too small, it looks like it's for fucking kids."
My mate says that when he goes away on trips with work he always gets love sick. Or chlamydia as it is also known.....
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The mother in law's doctor told her she had only 2 weeks to live. She said she would choose the last week in July & the first week in August.
Stating the obvious, but I like silly jokes too. :smile:
Roy Hodgson wants Emgland to play like Liverpool. Remember how Liverpool played when he was their manager???
Q. What is small, red & speaks in whispers? A. A hoarse radish.
The wife was in the loft earlier. She won't be going hang gliding over the village again.....
My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. "Well," she said, "I've lost a stone. Can you see a difference?"...
Q. What do you call 22 men sat around a TV, watching the World Cup Final? A. The England World Cup squad.
Every time my mate goes on a protest march he gets pepper sprayed by the Police. He's now a seasoned campaigner.....
Nice bike! Another Ducatisti in Nottinghamshire, where are you based Pav?
Another option: Warm'n'Safe Ultimate Heated Gloves Gerbing Heated Motorcycle Gloves 12V Systems
My new girl friend is a porn star. She's going to be furious if she ever finds out.....
This morning I rang my mate who works as a scientist. On answering his phone he said: "I'm just watching the sperm swimming towards the egg....
The cock is obsessed with bloody selfies: David Cameron stops for a selfie - and a mint choc chip ice cream - at Notts petrol station |...
Gary Barlow is being described as a 'National Treasure'. Most people want to bury the fecker...
Apparently Jeremy Clarkson is 'untouchable' at the BBC. Probably because he's the wrong sex & about 40 years too old....
I'm grateful to my English teacher for defining the word 'many' to me. It means a lot...
