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The mother in law's new dog is a very effective anti-rape measure. It's much better looking than she is...
In the winters of 2012 & 2013 it was reported that the Highways Agency round here had put down so much salt that plants normally associated with...
I ride my bike through winter, but only at weekends as I can't use it for work. We didn't actually have any snow during the last winter where I...
Nice pics of your bike. Sky looks rather strange though, doesn't often look like that over here! Where in Australia are you based?
Q. What's bland & tastes of Apple? A. Chris Martin's cock.
Q. What's yellow & lies at the bottom of the Indian Ocean? A. Sand, you heartless bastard...
Why do travel agents never ask if you have any nice haircuts planned???
Oranges can be either male or female: The males sometimes unexpectedly squirt in your eye. The females are bitter for no apparent reason.
Good news!! The Australian Royal Air Force & Royal Navy looking for flight MH370 have found Wally.
I find myself unable to throw anything anymore. Apparently I have projectile dysfunction...
Walking along the road the other day, I saw a small, dead, baby ghost. Although thinking about it, it might have been a handkerchief..
I started on a sculpture of an avocado, but it went a bit pear-shaped...
Greetings from one old fart enjoying a GT1000 to another old fart enjoying a GT1000. :) :upyeah: Mine's not quite standard, but each to their...
My mate says his new girlfriend has a cute habit of tucking her hair behind her ear. He sometimes wishes she had 2 ears.....
Whenever we have a big fight, the wife has this little trick that always cheers me right up. She fucks off to her mother's..
Q. Name Adolf Hitler's favourite cereals. A. Reich Krispies.
I'm a man who knows what he wants. And who then goes after something more realistic.
The shape of the new pound coin is great. You'll be able to use a spanner to get one out of a cabinet minister's head.
Last year one of the privateer racers at the Isle Of Man had converted a van previously used as a prison transport vehicle into a racebike...
Great budget yesterday. If I buy 399 pints of beer, I get one free!
