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Q. What do women politicans & pigeons have in common? A. They both flap about a lot & don't care who they shit on.
Q. What does 'DNA' stand for? A. National Dyslexia Asociation...
My wife said, "If there's one thing I can't stand it's nit-picking pedantry." I replied, "That's two things."
Life in the UK and prostitution have quite a bit in common. Except the people who get shafted are supposed to get paid, not the other way round.
I don't understand why so many people said they were shocked by how quickly Christmas came around. It was on the cards for ages.
My siamese twin told me a really funny joke today. I almost pissed himself.
A Priest went to the doctor in a panic and asked him, "What does it mean, Doc, if when I take a pee it burns like the fire of Satan and I have...
My wife doesn't know it yet, but as a treat I'm taking her to the Boxing Day sales. I've got her a part-time job, while I go to the football and...
Kids are not as interested in the actual toy as the box it came out of. Which is weird because that's how most blokes feel about kids.
Thank goodness it isn't Christmas every day. Imagine the size of the advent calendars.....:eek:
Bought the wife a brand spanking new vibrator for Christmas. Shame it has to go in such a tatty old box.
There was a very similar discussion with a Muslim lady on BBC Radio 4 yesterday. 2 of my Muslim friends each own Asian food (curry house)...
The Americans have a strange & irritating way of describing the process by which they either asked someone a question, or they checked something...
One of our neigbours is a convicted voyeur, but he's incredibly sociable. He's a real peephole person...
Scientists have developed a device that makes cars run 95% quieter. It fits right over her mouth.
Reports have emerged about a dyslexic Swedish lesbian who was seen licking her partner's Volvo.
When you can see a rash around your wife's vagina, one thing is clear: She's dressed inappropriately for parents' evening....
My wife told me when she passed her driving test she took one of those 1 week crash courses. That explains a lot then....
I've nicknamed my cock 'Nicolas Cage'. It hasn't been in anything good for a very long time.
