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I once bought my wife one of those mood rings. Although it was known as a wedding ring back then....
Pulled a gypsy bird last night, she asked me if I wanted to go back to hers for a good time, and she wasn't fecking kidding. I went on the...
Went out for a nice ride on my GT1000 this afternoon. Kept my eyes peeled for runaway steamrollers, although myopic coffin dodgers in small...
This + some change to be spent on a 2nd hand Multistrada 1100: JHP Projects - Ducati Coventry - West Midlands Motorcycle Dealership This & a lot...
Not a problem with the 5-spoke Marchesinis on my bike, the valve on the front wheel has a 90 degree angle - same as found on wheels of other...
If teachers become subject to annual MOTs, I can't see them failing for lack of breaks....
I wonder what the 'book price' is for a Sport Classic? Those nice insurance companies don't usually like paying out a penny more than they can...
The media say it's ridiculous that David Cameron's barber got an MBE.. But imagine the restraint it takes not to stab the cunt.
I'm proud to say that not one animal died so I could eat today. Three did.
"Why don't you ever call me at work and talk dirty to me?" Asked my wife. "Because it costs £3.95 a minute." I replied.
Can acupuncture do anything for pins and needles?
Last week I got eczema, diarrhoea, gonorrhoea and haemorrhoids. First time I've ever won a game of Scrabble.
Dignitas: Go to Switzerland in the car. Come back in the ash tray.
Tried to surprise the mother in law with a car on her birthday. Unfortunately I missed....
I received conflicting opinions from 2 dieticians regarding a bacon butty: Dietician 1: "Just eat the bread if you want to lose weight."...
Saw a sign saying, 'God is watching over us.' Does he live in a large building just outside Cheltenham???
My wife stormed out of the house and shouted at me, "You'll never find another one like me." "Yes I will," I replied. "There are plenty more...
A person's religion is usually their own choice. Unless they're Catholic, then it's usually an accident.
The kids learnt something very valuable last night. Loft insulation isn't really candy floss...
I think the government cuts have gone too far. Where I live, you wait over an hour for a bus and then none come along at once.
