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I bought my GT1000 to enjoy riding it, I never planned it as an investment. Just starting to wonder if I should think about saving for something...
My mate said "Are you a tits or an arse man?" I said, "I'm a tits, arse, cunt, fuck man." Bloody tourettes. Can't answer a simple question.
The Government have announced a crackdown on immigrants that don't learn English. A new test will be introduced to test immigrants proficiency...
My new French girlfriend hates it when I pull her hair during sex. She says it makes her armpits sore for days.
I went into a record shop & asked the sales assistant what he had by The Doors. He replied, "A bucket of sand & a fire blanket."
The advantages of origami are 2-fold....
Q. What do you get when you cross an owl with a rooster? A. A cock that stays up all night long.
My wife's locked herself in the kitchen in a rage, after a massive argument over how miserable and tight I've become since we've been married....
When I go on the piss people say I'll regret it in the morning. That's why I wake up at noon. I'm a problem solver.
An old lady was being examined by a doctor who asked her: "Have you ever been bedridden?" The old lady smiled and said: "I certainly have, and...
The gay guy in our office put a nicotine patch on his dick. He's down to two butts a day.
I've been to a posh private psychiatrist because of my obsession with snooker. After waiting in a cue he made me lie on the table, examined my...
Deep down, I knew that scuba diving wasn't for me.
Last night we caught a burglar eating the Christmas cake the wife made. I didn't know whether to call the Police or an ambulance.....
The wife's putting the Christmas tree up tonight. Well, after two kids she's not getting the same sensation from regular sex.
My grandad and gran are getting quite old now. I guess you can say,the lights are on, but... Oh hang on. Thanks to David Cameron they don't...
My mate's wife says he is like a lawn mower. Hard to get started, emits foul odours & rarely works...
I took a chav girl out for a meal last night. I suggested Coq au Van and we didn't even make it to the restaurant.
David Cameron disguised himself as a volunteer worker and reported for his first day of work at a supermarket. The manager greeted him with a...
My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried. Apparently, "Face first in Pixie Lott's fanny" wasn't the answer she was looking for....
