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A tidal surge has flooded most of the centre of Hull. There are fears the cost of the damage could reach as much as £20.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did, and apparently I won't be allowed on this...
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say. Unless you're Chinese, then it's 'squirrel'....
At the divorce hearing the judge told my mate: "Having reviewed your case I have decided to give your former wife £1,000 a week." My mate...
Got a new game at work: "Disconnect Four". I love working for an electricity company.
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're...
I've been using Gerbing heated gloves & one of their heated jackets (fits under my leathers) for several winters. The gloves plug into the jacket...
My mate is chuffed with his Angelina Jolie advent calendar. He's always wanted to open her flaps & eat chocolate from her.
If someone hates you for no reason - give the fecker a reason.
You may consider yourself a successful person if the cognac you drink is older than the woman you sleep with....
As part of my college course, I have to present a twenty minute lecture on the history of clocks. Anything less than twenty minutes and I won't...
My mate said his son got his disabled parking badge yesterday. I said, "I didn't know the Scouts had an award for that."
How about this for irony? My mate's new girlfriend is a fat girl who won't swallow..
So Charles Saatchi was married to a woman who could be a chef in the kitchen, a tart in the boudoir, and who had access to Class-A drugs? And he...
Love may be blind, but marriage is a fecking eye opener.....
Nigella's is the place to be for a good Sunday joint next weekend.
Nigella Lawson, off her tits, snorting coke? Don't care. Nigella Lawson, snorting coke, off her tits? You have my attention.
What's the betting Nigella Lawson will be doing porridge fairly soon?
I made 2 interesting discoveries about my girlfriend during a 69er. 1. If I gently massage my tongue over her clit, her little toes curl up. 2. I...
I walked up to the desk in the leisure centre and asked the attendant where to go for the 'Archery For Beginners' class. "Just follow the arrows...
