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Where he found a girl with a c**t like a bucket.
T'was on the good ship Venus..........
Her Indoors reckons I only score 3 out of 6. She says I'm not dear, sweet or sentimental........ Go on Funky, show us how it's done. Pen an ode...
Q. Why are women like screen doors? A. After they've been banged a few times they loosen up.
At Christmas I always prefer a hangover to my mother in law. The hangover will go away.....
Q. Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair? A. Because if you drag them around by the feet, they fill up with dirt.
Tried that with Her Indoors, but I made the mistake of saying her arse looked big FROM Texas. The doc says I'll walk again in a few weeks.....:wink:
"Does my arse look big in these jeans?" asked my wife. Apparently, "Your arse looks big in everything." was not the answer she was looking for......
Prince Charles has officially reached retirement age. Now he can spend all his time whingeing about the youth of today, pissing about doing...
Q. What do you give the girl who has everything? A. Penicillin.
Nowt deep, just thought I'd post an appreciation of my bike. So many people moan about Ducatis or slag them off. Those of us who have had a few...
I have a bike, it’s a few years old It’s not been mine from new The shiny tank is sparkling red With Ducati written bold I’m pleased to...
Teacher: "If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?" Paddy: "Seven!" Teacher: "No, listen...
At school I was consistently punished for something I didn't do: My homework.....
In bed my girlfriend asked me what I think about when we make love. "David Cameron." I replied. "Why the hell would you be thinking about...
I approached a stunning blonde in the club last night. "You look like you know how to handle a man with special needs," I said, with a wink. "I...
"I'm going out to scrape the car." My wife said to me this morning. "Against what?" I asked.
I went into a posh pub in a pair of filthy overalls and this snotty barman said to me, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here dressed like that."...
In the old days, ladies never seemed to appreciate it when asked to keep their legs open after finishing - they always wanted to know why. The...
[IMG] Originally Posted by Rudolph Hart [IMG] Don't: Take her from behind & whilst part way through, whisper in her ear, "Your sister's...
