Separate names with a comma.
Do they collect on Christmas Day? There'll be an old boiler I want rid of when the mother in law comes round to our house on Christmas Day. Any...
Don't: Ask her where your letter from 'The Clinic' is, before you've finished.
Don't: Take her from behind & whilst part way through, whisper in her ear, "Your sister's tighter.." Unless you want the rodeo ride of your...
Update on the fiery chilli fudge: Both wife & eldest daughter shared a chunk of the stuff after cutting it in half. They both spat it out & ran...
Always apply sans salad cream & with a good, stiff wire brush. You may use an orbital sander if you are feeling decadent.
Sometimes I like to hide my wife's inhaler. So the neighbours think I'm a stallion when they hear her panting "Give it to me!"
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to her for while he tells his daughter she...
Two bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything...
Top Tips for Halloween: 1) Make Jimmy Savile mask 2) Put it in the window 3) Enjoy a quiet trick or treat free night.
This Halloween, local kids scared the shit out of the old couple living next door. Little buggers shoved a gas bill through their letter box.
Just got the mother in law an interview as a stunt woman. Well she keeps driving me up the bloody wall....
Bought some 'fiery chilli fudge' from a market stall outside the main entrance to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham this morning....
Top Tip: Use it as a lubricant on SWMBO's tampons. It will take her mind off moaning about your 'quality time on the bike'.....
The wife and I went to a Halloween party last night, but she didn't want to go in fancy dress. She squeezed herself into a tight purple designer...
Q. What's the difference between fish fingers and old women? A. Fish fingers will be warmer this winter.
I soak toilet paper with it, so I can wipe & moisturise at the same time... We have some of this sauce. It does have quite an amusing, yet tangy...
A new contraceptive pill for men has just been launched. You put it in your shoe & it's guaranteed to make you limp.
The mother in law started on the Wonga diet yesterday. She's already lost 150 pounds...
I was going to apply for a job with Wonga.com today. Turned out there was too much interest.
I saw a sign today it said "FALLING ROCKS." So I tried it. It doesn't rock, it bloody hurts.
