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A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None - it's a hardware problem.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
Thought this may be of use in case anyone is considering becoming a blood donor: Give Blood - do something amazing give Blood Groups O Rh...
A Roman centurian walks into a bar, holds up two fingers & says, "Five beers please."
For the mother in law: "Shut up when you are talking to me."
Good quote for a boring meeting: "It is so difficult to be dumb these days. There is just too much competition."
A yawning man demonstrates his impoliteness. A yawning woman demonstrates her capabilities.
Surprise sex - a great way to be woken up. If you are not in prison.....
"Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?" "No, Eric."
My experience was that the OEM forks could be somewhat harsh on bumpy roads. Swapping the springs to Hyperpro progressive springs didn't cost too...
My wife has just posed nude for a magazine. That's one branch of WH Smith we shan't be going back to....
Why not consider spending a lot less to improve the existing rail network? Colleagues who regularly use the railway companies tell me longer...
I really enjoy watching wobbly tits. Putting whisky in the bird bath was a great idea.
Geoff Shreeves has just told John Terry he won't be allowed to lift the Wimbledon trophy if Andy Murray wins it.
I foiled a bank robber earlier. It keeps him fresher than cling film.
I'd say they are very good. Comfortable & plenty quick enough on our roads. There is a lot you can do to modify the Sport Classics if you wish....
Tesco has announced 20,000 new jobs to be created in the UK. The Prime Minister of Poland has welcomed the news.
David Cameron is chatting to an architect at a dinner party. "You know," he says, "if I weren't Prime Minister, I would probably design...
