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Apparently a person who is bipolar has difficulty in sustaining relationships, has a grandiose self worth and projects their problems on to their...
After my wife 'borrowed' my credit card and bought an exercise bike costing almost four hundred quid, she's lost about 2 lb. Or whatever it is...
David Cameron has agreed to allow Scotland to vote on independence in 2014. The Scots will be able to choose between 'Fuckin' right, ya bampot!'...
At the Olympics we were the best on a bike, and we were the best in a boat. I can't help but feel we lost another haul of medals by not getting...
If some people want a get together at the Ducati dealer in Coventry (or Lincoln), that could done in addition to a meeting in Aylesbury. Perhaps...
I was doing a bit of craft work in my shed. Until my wife came in and ruined it. She unplugged my synthesizer.
How times change. I know the wife of a cosmetic surgeon who started with AA, now she has double Ds.
I killed the mother in law in self defence. Took hours to clean the blood off the dojo floor mats.
The lad next door has been accepted by the Navy after his GCSE results. He got his seven Cs..
Good bragging rights in the pub when you can claim to be able to play with a noisy growler! In the US & Canada you can drink beer from a growler:...
I passed the selection test for my new job as a bug sorter today. I boxed all the right ticks.
Q. What's the difference between a wife & a crossword? A. You can usually work out what you did wrong with a crossword.
Q. What do you call a Scottish woman having a heavy period? A. Morag.
Theresa May is claiming the new internet snooping laws will "help trap killers like Ian Huntley." Is it just me or shouldn't we be trying to...
Walkers plan to increase potato crisp sales in the middle east by introducing a new Sultan Sheikh range.
Went to a fancy dress party as Humpty Dumpty last night. Got smashed.
Q. What's the differents between a premenstrual women and a terrorist? A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What is white, the size of a smartie and can induce a cardiac arrest in an 83-year old man within one second? Rolf Harris's door bell.
They say that one in every seven friends has OCD. It's not me. It's either Albert, Brian, Craig, Dave, Edward or Fred.
My mate ate a light bulb last night. He said he was in need of a light snack.
