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I went to the doctor because I was depressed over finishing crosswords too quickly He told me not to get 2 down
Would the company fund a Ducati? One of my friends rides a company bike. I met her once, she seems a nice enough lass....
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. So we took his bike off him. Then he just sat in the garden and barked all day. So we gave him his bike...
What a two-faced bastard that Jimmy Saville was. Look how many years he spent advertising British Rail, when all the time he was riding Virgins!
I went to see my grumpy, war veteran grandad in hospital the other day. "What's for dinner?" He barked. "Chicken at 1 o'clock." Said the nurse....
A Male Fairy Tale: Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess "Will you marry me?" The Princess said "NO !!!" And the Prince...
Two female radio presenters claim that they were groped on air by Dave Lee Travis. One was asked, "Were you grabbed by the Hairy Cornflake?"...
I saw a dwarf today wearing a fez, saying, "Just like that," as he got into his car. I think it was a Mini Cooper.
Saw something great on TV last night during an interview with David Cameron. The off switch.
Welcome SweDuc. :upyeah: By coincidence, I'm growing old without growing up....:smile:
The mother in law has just committed suicide. According to the note I've written..
My colleague I saw his ex-wife broken down with two flat tyres this morning which made him late for work.. Nine times he drove past before she...
I'll never forget the last words my ex girlfriend said to me. "It's twins."
My wife wanted a boob job for her birthday. Turns out an interview at Hooters wasn't what she had in mind.....
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters..... do they just give you a bra and say... "Here, fill this out" ?????
My mate had a tattoo of a £50 note done on his willy yesterday. When he returned home his wife asked him why. He replied, "Well, one, I like to...
In chemistry, alcohol is technically a solution......
The wife & I were sitting relaxed, having a chat when I accidently shit myself. I'd hoped she wouldn't notice, but then it floated to the top of...
The iPhone 5 is so advanced it can already receive texts from the iPhone 6, telling it how old and crap it is.
I saw a butch woman with short hair and tattoos trying to load a huge box into her car today. As I walked past she smiled at me and said, "You...
