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Q. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A. Tits Go In Front.
The Chuckle Brothers have been signed up by British Gas: To meter you.
Went into the office this morning and found the new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket....
Q. What is the difference between a dead cat on the motorway & a dead government minister on the motorway? A. There are skid marks in front of...
Hospitals report that the hearts of cabinet ministers are in strong demand by transplant patients because they've never been used.
Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them.
Q: Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A: A cucumber.
Another one: The anti-drone hoodie that helps you beat Big Brother's spy in the sky | Art and design | The Guardian
The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP.
My mate's wife has had plastic surgery today. He's cut up her credit cards.
On my first day working in a supermarket yesterday, an old lady asked me where she could find crab paste. I sent her to the Chemist.
Q: What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer? A: A f*cking know-it-all.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, "You're only interested in one thing." And you can't remember what it is.....
Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied,...
My wife says she wants it a bit rougher in bed. So I've changed the sheets for sandpaper and filled her pillow with bricks.
Everyone lost an hour last night. Or if you watched 'The Voice', two and a half hours.
Q. Why do cabinet ministers never meet on the same street where prostitutes ply their trade? A. Professional courtesy.
