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Q. Why do so many women fake orgasms? A. Because so many men fake foreplay.
Q. Why do nurses & doctors slap the bottoms of new born babies? A. To knock the penises off the gobby ones.
Insulated the loft today & found a box with a christmas present we forgot to give the kids. Shame, they would have liked a kitten....
A Spanish tourist was wrongly arrested yesterday by a dyslexic police officer. Jimmy from Seville has now been released without charge.
Freddie Starr, Dave-Lee-Travis, Max Clifford and Stuart Hall have joined forces to form a new boy band sponsored by viagra. 'ONE ERECTION' will...
My wife just aid to me, "Look at this, I've had this since we married 30 years ago and it still fits me!" I said, "Feck off fatty, it's a scarf.."
Next time you order a cocktail ask for a Bin-Laden. Two shots and a splash of water.
My mate just hired a cleaner from eastern Europe, took her 5 hours to vacuum the house. Turns out she was a Slovak...
Q. What is the difference between a battery & a mother in law? A. A battery has a positive side.
The mother in law can drink any man under the table. Provided he washes his knob first....
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if the store carries extra-large condoms. “Yes we do,” he says. “Would you like to buy...
THE FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Ferrari than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive...
I played 'lottery' with the wife in bed last night, I released the balls and there was a rollover.......
Blessed are the cheesemakers! Life of Brian sermon on the mount - YouTube
I went to see a house earlier with period features. My wife hates it when I call her that........
My wife's father was a boxer. I think her mother was a golden retriever.
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she...
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home...
Ronaldinho lobbing Seaman from 35 yards?
Sex Survey An equal number of men & women were questioned in a sex survey: 10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date....
