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My young nephew asked me, "How much does it cost to get married?" I replied, "I don't know lad, I'm still paying for it..."
I'm not saying the mother in law is fat. But we had to get plannning permission for her to sit down.
My wife complained she wanted more space. So I just locked her outside.....
Q. How do you torture a one-armed man? A. Make him hang off a cliff when he has an itchy arse.
A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of...
Yesterday I took the mother in law out for tea & biscuits. She wasn't too happy about having to give blood though.....
Today's Anal sex awareness seminar will be hosted later than advertised. The front doors will be locked so you'll have to come around the back.
I bought a bottle of Joey Barton's new aftershave. 'Scent Of - Barton'.
Oh dear. Don't wait for me, find some jump leads and a lamp post....: Mr Bean - First Aid - YouTube
When you have the following, give me a call: Chest pain, short of breath, awakening short of breath/needing more pillows, fainting and/or...
The train was quite crowded and, a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed,...
7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
"IT'S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY" And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel.
Liverpool fans have resorted to praying to God for help next season and amazingly God has answered them, He's underlined the eighth commandment.
Little Johnny asked his mum what 2 words mean that kids at school were using...........Pussy and Bitch. Mum inhaled sharply, but then said: "Oh,...
Dear People of Great Britain, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to...
JHP is in Coventry. Nelly at Cornerspeed (Kirkby in Ashfield) is much nearer for you, he is also highly recommended.
ZEN Teachings 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is...
An 80 year old retired seaman decides to put on his old uniform and head off for the docks to reminisce for old times sake. He engages a...
A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read...
