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I tried sky diving last week & asked the instructor, "So if neither the main or the reserve 'chute open, how long do I have before I hit the...
I said to my mate, "Let's go to the tennis club and play doubles." He said, "We'll never find two ugly blokes who look like us."
Scientists have announced they may have discovered a previously unknown level of incompetence. "We have hypothesized for a long time that a...
Hi Rich. Nice to see another GT1000 owner on the site. My GT had a QB hugger fitted when I bought it, works well & looks nice IMHO. Lots of...
My mate has an excellent nose for wine. It's shaped like a corkscrew.
My mate's latest business plan just came a cropper. He was going to build bungalows for dwarves. But there was just one tiny flaw.........
My mate's girlfriend reported him to the RSPCA after sending her a message saying, "I want to kick your puppy." I told him not to trust...
My mate found an old lamp & was rubbing it clean with a rag when a genie appeared from the bottle. "I may grant you just one wish for releasing...
A pilot knows he is in trouble when he calls the control tower & gets an answering machine.
The toilet in our office has a sign that reads, "Please leave this toilet as you would wish to find it." So I left a can of beer & a porn mag.
Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A. Polaroids.
Our neighbour's dog crapped in our garden so my wife told to me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence. I don't see what that solved, now...
Finest & value options. [ATTACH]
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the...
An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in...
Q. What's the ideal weight for a mother in law? A. About 5lbs, including the urn.
News flash Horse meat found in Tesco beef burgers. Camel toe found in Primark leggings.
Government ministers have announced they are looking for people who are honest & hard working. Two traits they cannot find in themselves....
Apparently the Met Office have issued a Red Snow warning. If it's anything like that Yellow Snow stuff, I'm staying indoors for the duration.
Not opening her car door on a date can lead to untold problems. Look what happened to Edward Kennedy after he just swam to the surface.
