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One of my mates says he suffers from xenophobia. He reckons he caught it off some damned foreigner...
I'm saving these for Mrs H :upyeah: : [IMG]
Q. What's the difference between a Chelsea manager and Frankie Valli? A. Frankie Valli had 4 seasons.
The wife was nagging again, so I escaped out to the garage. "You love that damned bike more than me, you sod!" She yelled after me. Too...
After spending the whole day in the garden with my dog, building him a kennel, my wife came home from work and said, "Look at his little face. He...
I went to hospital with a toilet brush up my arse. The doctor said, "How did this happen?" I said, "Well I met this bird in a club, one thing led...
Santa only comes once a year, but when he does he fills your stockings!
Dr Who has a pretty lady for his new assistant: jenna louise coleman | Tumblr BBC One - Doctor Who, Series 7, Doctor Who Christmas Special Trailer
Have this one on me: [IMG]
[IMG] Quite a change of image since the days of playing for Liverpool & Hamburg. Always wondered how many sports people took steroids on the...
Newton's third law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
Q. What runs at nearly 30mph & smells of curry? A. Usain Balti...
Nice idea for Her Indoors. Now where can I get those Dignitas gift vouchers for the mother in law...???
Having a drink or three tonight Glid?
Macauley Culkin is making a film about a man who lends a load of money to one of the Simpsons. It's called 'Homer Loan'....
I was in Tesco recently, when I bumped into this woman I'd started dating: "Oi, you told me you were in the Red Arrows" she said. "No I didn't"...
Cue joyful chants of: "Allez les Flics!!"
A good idea in principle, but in my experience few hospitals take much notice of anything printed on tags/wriststraps or carried in wallets. The...
I've told you before Funky. It's because you are a pleb like 99% of the rest of us. This chap could teach you how to work the system: George...
Ah, the lovely Rebekah. We all know who went riding with her.....!!
