Separate names with a comma.
POLITICIANS. Breathe out, never breathe in again. Give us all a break.
ASTHMATICS. Avoid going on holiday to places where the scenery is described as breathtaking.
SAVE MONEY on air freshener by sticking lavender up your bum. Then every time you fart a burst of soothing fragrance is released into your home.
Following Antony Worrall-Thompson being cautioned for shoplifting, my mate swears he just saw Nigella Lawson running out of Tesco with two large...
Excellent opportunity for an old medical gag: It just needs numbing. Numb, numb, numb, numb........ Aye thang yew!
John Reynolds lives near me, but I've never met him. The last time I saw him was when I was out on my GT1000 & he was out on a GSXR (not sure...
This article claims the 2013 Corse SE has an 18 litre aluminium tank: New colours for 2013 Ducatis revealed at Cologne - | Motorbike reviews |...
It's a fact: If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. Cole’s law: Thinly sliced cabbage. Santa's elves are just subordinate...
There are three signs of old age. The first is loss of memory. I can’t remember the other two.
A fight broke out between two men in the pub last night. One threw a prawn cocktail at the other - and that was just for starters...
Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance.
If there was a competition for saggy tits, my mother in law would beat everyone. In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them.
I hate people who stop me and ask for directions. I tell them where to go.
Q. What do cabinet ministers & sperm have in common? A. They both have a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.
It's a ten minute walk from my house to the pub. Weirdly, it's a two hour walk from the pub to my house.
Swearing at the police can result in a custodial sentence: The Boy Who Went To Jail For What Andrew Mitchell Did - Andrew Mitchell - Zimbio I...
Q. Why do cabinet ministers go round in threes? A. One can read, one can write, and the third is there to make sure the intellectuals don't get...
My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday. I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow.
A case of rudeness & a misplaced sense of self importance,combined with not thinking before acting. I'd like to think political correctness is a...
Andrew Mitchell should not have insulted Police Officers regardless. But to do it so soon after the tragic loss of the 2 officers is...
