Damn Reprobates

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by camelfarmer, Dec 26, 2018.

  1. So here I am sat on the floor on the front porch smoking a cigar and drinking a whiskey cocktail like a gentleman, and some cunt smashes my wing mirror, stops, and drives off. Luckily I have my car keys in my pocket, so I set off in hot pursuit. I stop her and put my cigar down like a gangster and killed her.

    No, not really. I got her details. Fucking Christmas spirit eh. This is gonna be a ballache to sort and get the money off this broad.
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  2. Women... no spatial awareness.

    Any cameras on the front of your place?
  3. Nope. All I got is her details.
  4. Pain in the arse when that’s the case. Becomes a he said/she said and she’ll know you want want to go through insurance so all too easy for her to tell you to stuff it. Such a bloody shame
  5. We're you required to break the speed limit in this pursuit? :blush:
  6. I wouldn't even imagine doing such a thing! I drove at 18, maybe 19 miles per hour.
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  7. What?!? You were drinking a whiskey... surely not your first. Smoking Cuba’s finest whilst keeping your eyes peeled... just in case, car keys in hand, then chase an idiot.
    Camel farmer where do you live, are we in different time dimensions, historically, metaphysically and continentally? Lol
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  8. I was only halfway through my first drink. I had my cars in my pocket cause id gone for a walk, but got bored and can be home, fixed a drink, and decided to finish the cigar outside as I was in my outdoor gear anyway.
  9. Might be the start of a meaningful relationship
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  10. I don’t think you have to justify your actions.
    Killing her was by far the best solution.
    Well done you.
  11. Simple
    Be to
    Ban all
    Women drivers from the roads between the hours of 6am to 11 pm
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  12. How on earth would they drive us home when we’re pissed
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  13. That’s why I factored the hours in. They can
    Drive after 11 pm when we are pissed but not all day.
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  14. Also could that ban be imposed on geriatrics in ford kugas and freelanders.
    Plus extend that ban to those carbon riding Lycra wearing bellends that insist on clogging up Britain’s roads
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  15. you forgot anyone that drives any sort of hybrid (especially toyotas) that is scared to accelerate at a reasonable rate because it uses up energy.
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  16. That would make the kids walk or ride bicycles to and from school thus clearing the traffic and making the kids slimmer! Great idea.
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  17. In ya pocket,bloody ell, how big are your kecks?....
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  19. Not read the thread but how can I apply for a rebate, please?
  20. So by the time I made the thread I was a little drunk.