Joke Page

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Rudolph Hart, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. I told my wife I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about far more important things she wouldn’t understand.
     
    #5741 Rudolph Hart, Aug 15, 2016
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    • Like Like x 1
  2. [​IMG]
     
    #5742 Sinister, Sep 11, 2016
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  3. It is important to have a good vocabulary.

    If I had known the difference between 'antidote' and 'anecdote', perhaps Granddad would still be alive??
     
    #5743 Rudolph Hart, Sep 11, 2016
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  4. [​IMG]
     
    #5744 Lightning_650, Sep 13, 2016
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  5. Q. How do the Welsh practice safe sex?

    A. We draw a large 'X' on the heads of sheep that kick.
     
    #5745 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
  6. [​IMG]
     
    #5746 Lightning_650, Sep 14, 2016
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  7. Red sky at night: Shepherd's delight.

    Blue sky at night: Daytime.
     
    #5747 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
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  8. It's been so hot today, I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
     
    #5748 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
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  9. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
     
    #5749 Rudolph Hart, Sep 14, 2016
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  10. Red sky at night: Shepherd's delight.

    Red sky in the morning: Barn's on fire.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    #5750 Ash34, Sep 15, 2016
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  11. Just deleted all the German names from my mobile phone contact list.

    Now it's Hans free...
     
    #5751 Rudolph Hart, Sep 15, 2016
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  12. [​IMG]
     
    #5752 Sinister, Sep 17, 2016
  13. How to torment a woman:

    Buy her a new pair of shoes made of chocolate.
     
    #5753 Rudolph Hart, Sep 17, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 2
  14. Joke software engineers.jpg
     
    #5754 Pete1950, Sep 18, 2016
  15. My dyslexic mate is a keen sailor & he was due to attend a maritime festival today.

    Apparently he turned up at a celebration for a yeast extract-based spread...
     
    #5755 Rudolph Hart, Sep 18, 2016
  16. I've just got a job as a waiter, it doesn't pay much but at least I can put food on the table...
     
    #5756 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
  17. I wonder if snowmen get fed up with the smell of carrot?
     
    #5757 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
  18. ''Do not touch'' must be a scary thing to read in braille..
     
    #5758 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
  19. An old girlfriend once admitted she used to be a Christian ...

    So I broke up with her.

    It may seem judgemental, but I’d only ever known her as a Christine.
     
    #5759 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 1
  20. I've just followed a magic tractor down the road...it turned into a field..
     
    #5760 El Toro, Sep 30, 2016
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 2
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