there once was a man named Paul who went to a fancy dress ball he thought he would risk it and went as a biscuit but a dog ate him up in the hall......
There was a young girl from Rabat Who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat It was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found she had no tit for Tat.
There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled up her pussy with glue She said with a grin If they pay to get in They'll pay to get out of it too
A horny young man from Brighton Said to this girl You've got a tight 'n. She said Bless my soul, You're in the wrong hole, There's plenty of room in the right 'n.
A young girl in children's ward three Wondered how to lose her virginity, You've got to lock up your daughters And beware of the porters Cos her badge says "Jim Fixed It For Me"
There once was a maid from Madras Who had a magnificent ass Not rounded and pink as you'd possibly think It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
A canner exceedingly canny, One morning remarked to his granny, "A canner can can, anything he can, but a canner can't can a can, can he?" There was an old man of Blackheath, Who sat on his set of false teeth, He said, with a start, "Oh Lord, bless my heart, I have bitten myself underneath!"
There was a young lady, a Jap, Who had acne all over her lap But in her interstices There lurked a far worse disease - It's commonly known as the clap.
A priest reciting his mass Rejected another man’s pass He felt some attraction But found that kind of action Less fun than a choir boy’s ass.
A feminist girl, name of Florence, Held all the male sex in abhorrence. She’d take guys to bed And shag them till dead And then she’d collect the insurance.
There was a young lady from Leeds Who swallowed a packet of seeds. In less than an hour Her clit was in flower And her arsehole was bunged up with weeds.
The Duchess, whilst pouring the tea, Once asked, “Do you fart when you pee?” I replied with some wit, “Do you burp when you shit?” And I think that was one up to me.
There was a young lady from Bude Who lay on the beach in the nude. A young man came along, And, unless I am wrong, You expected this line to be rude.
There was once a young Glidd of the Glood who smelled just like he had poo'd Dr Atkins was paid poor Glidd never laid so stay off the high protein food
There once was a young man named Paul Who went to a fancy dress ball He thought he would risk it And went as a a biscuit But a dog ate him up in the hall
